


End of the line

by Hakuyu



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Drama, F/M, Gore, Hallucinations, Psychological Drama, Psychological Horror, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 22:06:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14963054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hakuyu/pseuds/Hakuyu
Summary: You can easily get lost in the labyrinth of life – and a dead end may have fatal consequences. 『Based on Tokyo Ghoul :re chapter 53』





	End of the line

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language and I apologize for every mistake.   
> I did my best, but I'm sure it's not perfect.   
> Please let me know if there are any mistakes.   
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it.

_Suitengumae. Change trains at Otemachi. Take the Chiyoda line. All the way to Kasumigaseki._  
No, that was wrong. Not Chiyoda.  
Nor Kasumigaseki.  
No.  
It wouldn’t work that way. He had to change trains later. Then he had to go on. Then he had to change trains again. But where? He had to take the Fukutoshin Line. Right!  
That was quicker. And a lot faster.  
Otherwise he'd be late. And she would be waiting for him.  
Or was Kikukawa the better option?  
Ryogoku. No, Ryogoku wasn't even on the track.  
How did he even think of that?  
Asakusabashi. Or the Yuurakuchou Line. Which one did he ride best with? Which way did he have go?  
If he went wrong, he would be late.  
She would be waiting and he would be late. 

The high glass windows protected the red speckled corridor. Ui's steps echoed on the dark walls. Looking out of the windows, the panorama of Tokyo stretched before his very eyes.  
Countless buildings grew into the sky like black blocks. The walls were pitch-black. Only the windows were lit up. Each window was arranged at the same angle, exactly next to each other and one below the other. Like a geometrically drawn starry sky. Only the cracks in the glass broke the order, displaced and crazed the artificial stars.  
Ui glimpsed down. No cars, none of them. The CCG had evacuated the entire area before the raid of the Lunatic Eclipse Building. The sky was black and yawning empty, almost merged with the dark buildings. The lights of the windows were so bright that they shone over the stars. Only the full moon continued to shine brightly.  
It was said that, in the past, the moon had the ability to drive people mad.  
A blood-stained solar eclipse spread before Ui.  
Every light was shut out.  
The corridors of the Lunatic Eclipse Building were canals full of red, thick pulp.  
Human blood mixed with the blood of those monsters. Dead bodies swam like floaters in this blood lake. People wearing grey trench coats. Some leaned against the wall as if they were sleeping. Others were missing an arm or a leg. White bone protruded from red flesh. The lost body parts were somewhere on the other end of the corridor.  
The corridor seemed to stretch into infinity and at some point, far away, to be swallowed by the blackness. The bodies didn't seem to stop either.  
One would be able to walk in this passage forever and ever until he lost himself.  
But Ui stopped. His legs were heavy like lead, refusing to take even one more step further.  
Why should he anyway? Why would he move on?  
Only a few meters away in front of him lay a body in the corridor. There was only a pool of blood where the head should have been. The red liquid shimmered in the silvery moonlight.  
The body wore a grey uniform, a trench coat and a grey top. Investigator. One pair of gray pants. So it was a man.  
No, wrong.  
She had always felt more comfortable in a man's uniform.  
"The skirt really bugs me. It's totally impractical. "  
That's what she said, smiling. She had always been a character, even in the choice of uniform. But also in a men's uniform the female form of her delicate body had become apparent. In its flaccid hand the headless body still held the quinque. One staff, three plates attached to its end. The Quinque was very similar to Arima's Narukami.  
"I really want Narukami," Hairu had enthused. She never got it. As if Arima would ever give up his precious Quinque. But Hairu had never given up on the thought of getting it neither.  
And although she persistently waited for it, yet she was so impatient that she had T-Human forged for herself. "It looks almost like his! Look, Koori-senpai," she beamed as she showed him the weapon.  
Perhaps the grip of the flaccid hand would increase once more around the quinque. But that didn't happen. Nothing happened at all.  
The world seemed to stand completely still. And he too was powerlessly at the mercy of this stagnation.  
He could not do anything, not move, see nothing, say nothing, think nothing. No. This couldn't be her. No, no, not her. Impossible. Hairu did not lose so easily. She did not die that easily.  
Maybe it wasn't even her. . .  
Head. . . head. . . the head. . . where was it…  
Ui saw it right in front of his eyes: The face of his partner. The way she smiled at him warmly, tilted her head, the strands of her soft pink hair gently clinging to her chin. The soft and yet so incredibly cool grin and this chaos in her eyes, when everything in her was craving for blood and she showed no mercy in battle.  
He had her face right in front of him, but Ui did not see her head. Where was it...? Where was she? Where was Hairu?  
Ui looked around. Nowhere did he discover streaks of light pink or her soft facial features.  
Not there. Not even there. As far as he could see in the corridor, there was only the same dark red.  
The head, it just wasn't there. Hairus's face started to change. Her smile disappeared.  
Her mouth distorted into a silent cry that froze on her face. Her eyes became empty and white. Blood speckled on her light skin. Ui blinked, but even when he closed his eyes, the picture stood out from the darkness only too clearly.  
But even her face faded more and more, until only the blackness remained.

"Awww come on, Koori-senpai! You are late!"  
Hairu inflated her cheeks and put her hands on her hips.  
"I'm sorry, I got the wrong line," mumbled Ui. The doors of the train closed behind him with a hiss. A breeze grazed his face as the train moved almost silently. All the louder was the buzz.  
A swamp of scraps of words echoed on the curved glass ceiling of the station. When Ui got off the train, he almost got crushed by the mass of people and it was no better off the train. Countless people crowded across the platform. He had already seen this from the window and wondered how he would ever find Hairu in this tangle. But as soon as the doors opened and Ui stepped off the train onto the platform, she stood right in front of him and greeted him with these words: "You are too late".  
Yes, he was. And it was his own fault.  
He had got in the wrong train.  
Only after a few stations had he noticed the mistake. He had got off at the nearest station, but he did not know how to get to his destination from there. The map of the subways had hardly helped him with all its countless colourful, crossing lines.  
He just wanted to take a train. Get off the wrong station, just don't be late. In the end, he got in the wrong line again. Then he had to change trains again. When the announcement had finally announced the right station, Ui breathed a sigh of relief. "Have you been waiting for long?" he asked Hairu as a precaution. Hairu shook her head so wildly that her hair strands were whipped against her face.  
"No, no. Not at all", she smiled at him warmly, there was no trace of her offended expression she showed before, "And now you're here after all!"  
They made their way through the crowd together. Hairu ran ahead with springy steps. She slipped so skillfully between the people, that Ui only had a wall of foreign back heads and countless wide bodies in front of him after a while. Ui turned his head in all directions.  
There was no trace of his partner's light hair.  
It was as if she had been swallowed.  
With a hectic gaze Ui searched the stream of people that passed him like a dark mud avalanche.  
"Koori! Here I am," Hairus's voice penetrated to him. Ui twirled around. He couldn't see her. But a slender, waving hand, which defied the crowd for a fraction of a second, submerged again until a blink of an eye later protruded from the crowd.  
For a second, he thought he saw Hairus' pink mop of hair over the crowd before it was swallowed again. With quick steps he pushed his way through the crowd. He pushed several people into the side, bumped into them.  
"Excuse me," he kept saying, like in a trance. He barely heard himself.  
He had to reach Hairu, who stood in the crowd and jumped up and down to draw attention to herself.  
He couldn't lose her. He just could’nt. 

_"My goodness. . . ", sighed Ui dropped onto a bench and wiped his forehead._  
Hairu dropped beside him, laughed. "That was really close, I thought we were losing each other. That would be really stupid. But you found me. "  
"I thought so too. . . ", gasped Ui, "And yes, fortunately. What's going on today?" Inside the station it was no less crowded. People, wherever he looked. But there was a bench, a saving island for both of them. Hairu tilted her head.  
"You look tired, Koori-senpai. " Really? Did he? "Is something wrong?" Hairu continued, "Has work been stressful?"  
Ui just nodded, "But it's only the usual," he said dryly. "The usual?", Hairu repeated and stretched out, "That sounds just boring. "  
"I wouldn't call it boring," Ui threw in, "It's just everyday life. And even this work is very important and must be done. "  
"It still sounds boring to me!"  
No, it really wasn't boring. Ui had no time to get bored. Not only Hairu, but also Arima had been absent. From time to time, the CCG's best investigator simply disappeared and not even his team knew where he went. Arima certainly had his reasons.  
After all, he was deeply involved in the CCG, in things so secret that even his squad was not inaugurated for security reasons.  
When Arima was missing, it was always something important and decisive.  
Nothing to get involved in. Then it was up to him, Ui, to do his duty and hold his ground.  
His colleagues had put him to work. Paperwork here. Files there. In addition, some Ghoule ran amok among the city lately, the reports piled up. It was about time, they all had to be wiped out.  
But well, this all was part to the usual everyday life of an investigator. Even if it was quite nerve-racking. But he did not want to burden Hairu further with it.  
After all, today was her day off. And she had earned it after killing so many Ghoule during the last mission.  
In the higher ranks, investigators who killed a certain number of ghouls in a certain period of time expected bonuses.  
A one-time raise. Additional holidays. While Ui had decided to raise his salary, Hairu had taken one day off today. She would only get a guilty conscience if he started lamenting how strenuous the work had been without her.  
But it really was. Both of them were parts of Arima's squad, they were a team. Of course, it was noticeable when she was missing. His partner was sometimes unworldly and hung her head in the clouds. He was often upset about her relaxed manner and her lack of seriousness. Maybe today Hairu’s behavior would have annoyed him even more than it did anyway. But one thing was certain: without Hairu and her smile, the office work seemed twice as strenuous. Luckily she would be back tomorrow.  
But at that moment it was enough to share the moments after work with her. That he could be with her even on her day off.  
"You must be hungry," Hairu decided out of nowhere and jumped up jerky, "Me too! I'll get us melon bread!"  
"Wait-" Ui shouted and reached out her hand. But Hairu had disappeared in the crowd again. That was just like her. But he didn't have to worry about her.  
She belonged to the elite of the CCG after all. Just like himself. He was still her superior, but who knew how quickly that would change.  
At the age of 21 she was already part of Arima's team. She was incredible.  
Not a genius, as Arima was, but still incredible. Hairu had something about her that Ui thought he could never reach.  
Ui slid backwards on the bench and leaned his back against the cool wall. Despite the many bodies and the stuffy air, he had goose bumps. With an empty gaze, he watched the flow of people passing by.  
And everything he saw ran through his fingers like sand. Countless shadows scurried past him, taking no notice of him, just as he took no notice of them. He was alone.  
"Here you go!" A round bread wrapped in plastic foil slid into Ui's field of vision.  
Blinking, he looked up, ponderously raised his head and looked into Hairus's smile.  
The foil crackled as she laid the loaf on his lap. "The queue went on forever," she dwelled and dropped back onto the bench with a theatrical sigh. Then she dedicated herself to her own bread, wrapping it from the plastic. She beamed when she had liberated her meal from wrapping completely. "Melon bread tastes the best! Don't you think it looks like a full moon?"  
"Do you think so?" Ui just shrugged his shoulders.  
Such a comment could only come from Hairu. Hairu didn't go into it anymore.  
"Enjoy your meal! Happ," with these words she bit into the pastry. So she must have been really hungry. Why had she been waiting for him and did not bought something to eat before? Ui watched her chew, bite by bite. Hairu looked up, her eyes crossed. The investigator tilted her head. Her smile also looked a bit weird, she still had her mouth full of melon bread. That didn't stop her from speaking, though.  
"Tastes great. Aff u noff hangy, Koufi?", she chomped and swallowed the piece in her mouth. Hunger. No, not really. He felt kind of sick. His throat was tied up. Anything he swallowed would get stuck in his throat. But Hairu had got the bread especially for him.  
With his fingernails Ui pulte the packaging of the pastry, which lay on his lap. The foil crunched in protest. Finally, the loaf lay open in front of him. The shiny crust shattered when Ui took the bread in her hand. His fingers sank into the soft dough. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hairu looking at him. Slowly he brought the bread to his mouth. The smell of flour and syrup blew up his nose.  
He took a small bite, just a little. Immediately the sweet taste spread softly in his mouth. He chewed. Another wave of sweetness flooded his palate, flowing down his throat.  
Ui swallowed the piece.  
The knot in his throat was untied, the nausea in his stomach had disappeared and had left behind a cosy warmth. Ui looked at the bread in his hands. It tasted good. Really good.  
"And?", Hairu asked cheerfully. Ui smiled slightly.  
"It tastes good. Thank you. "  
Then he took another, bigger bite.  
Yes, melon bread was really very tasty. 

_Hairu had her arms outstretched, running beside him with leaping steps._  
She was careful not to step with her feet on the furrows that separated the individual stones of the footpath.  
A game she played for herself.  
Ui had his hands buried in the pockets of his coat. He did not concentrate on the stones or the furrows, which he passed shuffling.  
Instead he concentrated on Hairu running next to him. How cheerful and full of energy she was. How unlike himself. But seeing her like that caused a joyful tingling in him. It was nice just to have her by his side. They met after work frequently. For no particular reason, just to spend time together. Sometimes they got into a random subway train and drove into one of Tokyo's districts, which they then explored together.  
"Let's take this train, Koori-senpai! Let's see where we end up!"  
Hairu always said something like that.  
And indeed, their train rides took them to entirely new corners of the city. Hairu marvelled at the busy streets and large, complicated buildings. And Ui was happy to see she was happy. For him, the sight of the large city was nothing special anymore. But it was different for Hairu. The children in the Sunlit Garden grew up very isolated. A golden cage full of flowers.  
They hardly noticed anything from the outside world.  
Basically, they have always been accused of being unworldly and completely remote from practice.  
But Hairu was a great investigator, not to mention Arima, who also grew up in the Garden. Yes, Hairu may have been unworldly and yes, that could be very impractical. But that didn't change her superb fighting skills.  
Growing in a golden cage, he knew what it was like himself. His family was very rich and respected. He had never had any real friends.  
Maybe his classmates were afraid of the influence of his family, were intimidated. Or they thought he was arrogant - even though they had never spoken to him. But as long as he could pursue his hobbies in peace and nobody to disturbed him, it simply did not matter. Actually. But being alone all the time, trapped between invisible bars, had hurt. Maybe he even had locked himself up at some point. But the days of loneliness were over.  
The prison was broken.  
He had his mentor Arima, his partner Hairu, the other members of his team, his colleagues. They were all worth fighting for. Most investigators had experienced some form of tragedy or loss in their lives, which were the cornerstone of their careers.  
In this sense Ui had probably been lucky. There hadn't been any tragedy. No compulsion either. For this, there was the indispensable urge to bring justice to humanity threatened by the ghouls. Bringing justice by protecting people and wiping out monsters. That was his goal.  
Certainly he was not like Hairu or Arima, who had been prepared for this task all their lives.  
But he had made it into the team of the two.  
And he couldn't wish for a better team members. He fought not only with them, but also for them.  
While Hairu enjoyed their excursions together, loved to look at the buildings and to open up the world piece by piece, Ui was just happy to have her at her side.  
It holds the pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket. Finally he pulled them out. He took out a cigarette and clamped it between his lips, while he fingered for the lighter in his other jacket pocket. Found it. He took out the small silver case and opened it. It was difficult to turn the metal wheel.  
Single, tiny sparks went up in the air, where they went out within a blink of an eye. The flames flickered only half-heartedly before disappearing back into the darkness.  
The smell of alcohol was in the air.  
"You should stop smoking," he heard Hairu complain when he had finally succeeded in creating a stable flame. He would have liked to answer, but he had that smoldering cigarette in his mouth. Ui took a deep breath, let the smoke flow into his throat.  
Not as sweet as melon bread.  
"If you go on like this, you won't live long. "  
Ui clamped the cigarette between two fingers, took it out of his mouth and blew out the smoke before he answered:  
"You talk as if I was a chain smoker. I don't smoke that much. "  
Just once in a while. For relaxation. That was all.  
Hairu waved away the smoke with her flat hand. "Still! I don't want your life to get shorter, Koori-senpai. You should be happy and not ruin it for yourself. "  
Ui's eyes narrowed. He stared at the glowing ashes at the end of his cigarette for a long time. The fire ate its way through the paper millimeter by millimeter. The first grey flakes were already trickling to the ground.  
"Enjoying my life and smoking is not a contradiction," he finally explained.  
Hairu inflated her cheeks again and replied his words with silence.  
But just a minute later she was buzzing next to him again. When Hairu didn't look, Ui dropped the cigarette.  
It just disappeared into the dark as soon as he let it go.  
He couldn't even see it glowing.  
"Did Arima say anything today?" Hairu asked sometime.  
"Huh? No, he wasn't even at the office today. "  
"Oh, yes, yes, he's very busy. " Hairu smiled at him knowingly, but Ui did not understand. He buried his hands in his the pockets of his coat again.  
"Awww, too bad. I thought Arima said something about the last mission. How I killed the Ghouls and such, for example. "  
So that was what it came down to. She wanted his praise. If not directly, then she hoped that he would speak in high terms of her behind her back.  
Arima was a genius. Who didn't want the recognition of a genius?  
Hairu and Arima had grown up together. Who knew what kind of relationship they had had with each other back then. Hairu certainly had her reasons why Arima's praise was so important to her. For example. . .  
Ui would like to have better news for her.  
How much he wanted to tell her that Arima had told her how amazing she had been. But Arima praised no one. Ui too had never heard praise from his mentor. But it was okay, for him at least. Ui didn't need any praise, he knew that Arima respected him. Respect was more important than praise.  
And yes, occasionally Arima even smiled at him. That was enough, more than most people got. Arima was unsurpassable. Of course, someone like that, who stood above everyone else, had no praise left. Arima would thus only degrade himself and make himself unnecessarily small.  
He was so inaccessible that sometimes he seemed inhuman.  
Hairu also came from the garden, but was no comparison.  
She was much more open and emotional.  
But sometimes Ui had the feeling that she never really got to her, only on the surface.  
It sounded so silly, sometimes she seemed so strange that it worried him.  
But in those moments he just wanted to have her closer to him, to know more about her. "No, unfortunately he didn't," Ui muttered. Then he looked up, looked directly at Hairu, before he said: "But I think you were great. "  
Hairu blinked confused at first. In the second moment, a beam spread across her face. Her eyes shone.  
"Do you think so? Thank you, Koori-senpai! That means a lot to me. " Ui nodded and smiled gently at her.  
It was nice, soothing to see her like this.  
Even if he wasn't the one. If she was so happy now, how overjoyed would she be if Arima ever lost those words?  
Hopefully he would one day praise Hairu and make her dream come true. Ui hoped it.  
But Hairu needed neither his own praise nor Arima's to be great. 

_Except for you two, the train compartment was completely empty. As if the room were full of people, they sat close together on one of the upholstered benches._  
But it was just him and her. The track swayed slightly. The loops rocked with every movement. Hairu wiggled her legs.  
Their humming mixed with rhythmic, metallic clattering and a muffled hiss. The lights were out.  
Just orange light fell through the windows and painted square lakes on the floor. Two elongated black figures almost merged into one of these blood-red lakes of light. Their shadows. Ui blinked his heavy eyes. He could hardly turn his gaze away from Hairu, who had leaned back and put her head down on her neck. Her eyes were closed. But the smile on her lips revealed that she was awake.  
She probably just enjoyed the moment. Today had been a very nice day. Ui took a look out the window. Immediately he squinted his eyes.  
Wherever he looked, bright light was all he saw. It was as if they were driving through a lake of red. As much as he concentrated, he could see no houses, no electricity pylons, no landscape. Only deep red. He quickly turned his gaze away and let it wander through the compartment. The display was also defective and dead black. Which stop? Where did this train go anyway? Basically, it didn't matter as long as he could sit next to Hairu. Still. . . Where were they going again?  
What line did they get on? Hibiya? No. Touzai? Neither.  
"Um, Hairu", Ui finally raised his voice, "Where does this train actually go?" Hairu opened her eyes.  
Her pupils seemed to burn. Tenderly she smiled at him. Then she giggled.  
"I have no idea, Koori-senpai," she purred and blinked at him conspiratorially. Just getting on a train, no matter where it went. Typical for Hairu. But at least he would have paid attention to where they were going. Did he? No, he couldn't say.  
Did they want to visit Tokyo Tower? Ueno Park? No, all wrong.  
What were they even doing here?  
Normally he let himself be carried away by Hairus's spontaneity and enthusiasm. But suddenly his heart pounded hard against his ribs. What was wrong with him? Right. Cigarette. Maybe he should not have tossed it back then. . . But before Ui could reach into his jacket pocket, Hairu went on.  
"Where this train is going? You have to find out for yourself. I'd love to help you, but. . . I'm sorry, Kori-senpai. I’m so sorry." The light was reflected in her shining eyes.  
Her smile narrowed. "It's always been a lot of fun. Really! I had so much fun being with you. But I don't think I can take this train together with you anymore. I have to get out now.  
You'll have to get to the terminus on your own. Don’t worry. You'll be fine. But Koori-senpai. . . ", Hairu struck some strands off his face, "It's your own fault, you know? You were late, weren't you?"  
She leaned forward to him.  
Her smile is icy, cheerful, sadistic, cheerful, emotional, playful, loving, warm.  
"For you know, Koori-senpai," she aspirated and her breath was ice-cold, "I saw the Grim Reaper. He was very beautiful. " 


End file.
